Kageyama's return
by AddictedPenguin
Summary: Kidou really feels at his place at Teikoku but everything changes for him when his old Commander turns to be alive. Rated T because of language. (Hints of Fdkd somewhere in the middle and last chapter- also spoiler alert for the people who haven't seen Galaxy yet!)
1. Chapter 1

**Kidou is my favourite character by far and his relationship with Kageyama has always interested me. I wanted to write something about his death but Inazuma went ahead of me and welcome home Kageyama. (or home, I think he's currently on a space ship? I am not keeping up with Galaxy but I assume that's what "galaxy" is about)**

The anime said nothing but then absolutely _nothing_ about Kidou's reaction that his old commander is actually not that and honestly that pisses me off. He's just standing side by side with him again like nothing happened.

So here we go, my vision so far as I can bring it to correct English.

Enjoy!

* * *

Kidou brushes his fingers over his wooden desk. It has been a long day for him, a long week to be more specific. He had been working almost non-stop, even though he had several warnings from both Sakuma and Gouenji.

Their worried speeches and phone calls to distract him from working did not really have effect on him, of course he appreciated the gesture but this time of the year was really too busy to abandon his work.

Kidou walks over to the coffee machine and finds an unused mug to use, which is surprising considering the amount of coffee he already had only today.

He smiles when his fingers cup the mug in his hands, the warmth feels pleasant against his cold fingers. The coffee tastes good, not as good as the ones that Sakuma usually makes, but it's good enough to enjoy it.

He sinks back in his chair. It is true that he hasn't slept much the past five days and coffee has helped him through most of the time. He tries not think of the embarrassing moment when he realised he fell asleep on his work and the paper work was done the moment he woke up. Sakuma never said a word about it though, Kidou can always count on him.

Kidou looks up from his work when he thinks he hears something, footsteps.  
It is too late for any students or teachers to be around at this time and he had sent Sakuma home already. He might have come back to lecture him about the fact that he's still working while he promised Sakuma he'd go right after him a couple of hours ago.

The footsteps stop all of the sudden, Kidou knows the building, every room and every door, the person must be close. "Sakuma?" He calls out, waits a few seconds and when he doesn't get a respond he gets up from his chair.

But the hall is empty, which is strange because Kidou is certain that he heard something. He locks his office door behind him when he leaves the room. After taking a few steps he realises that there is really no-one there. Kidou sighs, he must have imagined it. Now that he already closed the door he might as well go home. It has been a while since the last time he slept in his own bed.

Kidou shoves his hands in his pockets to check if he has his phone. Since a couple of months he has a smartphone. He couldn't see the use of it for a long time but Sakuma insisted. Now he's glad with this new technology, it gives him the opportunity to work at any time. Sakuma literally slapped the palm of his hand against his forehead when he found out what Kidou was using his phone for, this hadn't been his intention at all.

While he's on his way to the exit of the building he hears it again, the footsteps. Slow but loud and clear. This time Kidou decides to follow his instincts and heads in the direction of the sound. But again, there's no-one.

He really wants to go home now, it must be the lack of sleep in combination with all the caffeine he had. Next time, Sakuma has to warn him before something like this happens again, he doesn't want to get overworked. Kidou shakes his head, glad that there's no-one at this point, he just admitted to himself that he might be, kind of, a workaholic.

"_Kidou_."

Kidou freezes on his spot. That voice. No, no it can't be. Kidou abruptly turns around and also this time there is no-one to be seen. But his voice was so familiar, too familiar. It's not possible, it's simply not possible that the voice he just heard belongs to _that man_.

"Kidou, come to me."

Kidou quickens his pace, his name echoes through the building and Kidou gets a strange feeling of a déjà vu. Ten years seem long but it feels like just yesterday that he was running though the streets from Italy. But this time it's on his own grounds, the place where he always felt safe before. The past still keeps haunting him, he'll never break free from that man's curse.

"Come back to me, Kidou, my creation."

"No!" He yells back and stops walking, which had almost come to running at this point. 'You're dead! Leave me alone! You don't own me! I am _not _your creation!" Kidou looks around and places his fist against his chest, he finds it difficult to breathe all of the sudden, while with his condition as a soccer player a little run shouldn't affect him much.

"And yet you returned to Teikoku, it won't take long before you'll also return to me, Kidou."

The hall, the doors, the high windows, everything starts to spin in front of his eyes. Kidou collapses on his knees and covers his eyes with his hands.

"Having trouble seeing, Kidou? You never had problems with your eyes when you were still wearing the goggles I gave to you."

His goggles. He stopped using them years ago, a new start with a new trademark. He never really missed them. But now, if he would only have them now he'd be able to—_NO_.

He just has to focus. It's just his imagination, all of this. Yes, that must be it. He's still dead, it's because of the lack of sleep that he's hallucinating now.

Evil laughter resounds through the halls.

"Shut up! Leave me alone!" Kidou makes himself smaller, hoping that this feeling will disappear if he just calms down. He has to think about nice things; soccer, the lunch appointment with his sister next week, the joy of coaching his own team.

Kidou starts to breathe slower and the heavy feeling in his chest becomes less, also, the noises are gone. Kidou is thankful for the silence, it helps him clear his mind.

When he thinks that he's calm enough he removes his hands from his eyes and allows himself to look up. He shouldn't have done that.

There, across the hall, a silhouette of a tall man in a light blue suit. It seems to be an old man with long, white hair tied in a low ponytail and a beard. On the right side of his face there is a huge scar, partially covered by a pair of sunglasses.

The man turns to him and gives him a board grin. There, right in front of him, there stands the man he thought was dead for ten years, the man he admired and feared, his Commander and a criminal, Kageyama Reiji.

What happened after that is something Kidou can't recall, because the moment he looked his old Commander right in the eye, Kidou lost consciousness.

* * *

**If there are any spelling mistakes feel free to point them out, I don't have a second reader so I might read over my awesome typos some times.**

**If you want to share your opinion or there's something you want to let me know, leave a comment. I am all doing it for you my dear readers!**

The second chapter will be up soon!

**Angel**


	2. Chapter 2

Kidou opens his eyes, he feels exhausted and wants to turn and go back to sleep till he realises that he's not in his own room (nor king size bed).

A soft noise draws his attention to the right side of his bed. It's Sakuma, he's sitting on the floor with his laptop on his lap. Kidou recognises the room now, it's Sakuma's guestroom. He's probably here to keep an eye on him.

Kidou sees his clothes carefully folded on the only chair in the room. Sakuma must have undressed him before he put him in bed. It doesn't bother him, they have seen each other naked many times before in the changing rooms.

His goggles are on the nightstand together with a water bottle and a strip with pills, painkillers most probably. Kidou's head feels heavy, he'll need one of those. Sakuma really always thinks about everything.

When Kidou shuts his eyes flashbacks shoot through his head, things he doesn't want to think of just yet, he needs distraction, and the only thing that can distract him right now is talking with his, most likely over-worried, friend.

But it's better than thinking, everything is better than thinking at this moment. Maybe Sakuma's over protectiveness is exactly what he needs. He hears a soft laugh coming out of his direction.

"I assume you're not working if you're laughing like that."

Sakuma looks up, a bit startled but smiles and shakes his head then. "No, I am not like you." He gives Kidou a challenging smile. "I'm on Skype with Fudou."

Kidou smiles softly at his remark. "Ah, he is in Spain now, isn't he? How's he doing?"

"You could ask him yourself if you're so interested, you haven't contacted him once since he left." Kidou closes his eyes, he is well aware of the fact that they haven't spoken for more than two months.

"It's difficult with the time difference, what time is it there now?"

"Around nine in the evening. He just had a match. He's going out with some teammates in a few minutes, he said that he has a very active night life there now that he doesn't have a jetlag anymore. Do you want to talk with him before he leaves?"

"No, I'm fine." Kidou turns his face away from his friend. Kidou has never been that social, he finds it hard to talk through messages instead of face-to-face. He has no idea what to say, what to do, to express how he feels. That's why he has been avoiding to contact Fudou, usually they can talk for hours.

Fudou is also the reason he didn't get overworked earlier. Always distracting him and dragging him to places. Kidou acts like he doesn't like it and that Fudou is wasting his time but secretly he enjoys spending time with someone instead of being at work all day.

But now that he's in Spain he doesn't have his companion to go out with and taking with Fudou without seeing his face feels strange.

Sakuma's voice brings him back from his thoughts. "He misses you too, you know."

Kidou turns his face back to him and sees that he closed his laptop, suddenly he feels a strange feeling in his chest, like he missed another chance.

"Enough about him." Sakuma places his laptop on his desk and sits on the bed. "What happened? It was quite a shock to find you there."

Kidou shuts his eyes again, trying to remember what Sakuma is talking about until it hits him. _Kageyama_. His hands are starting to shake and tries to hide it by clenching his fists tight together, but someone as sharp as Sakuma already noticed.

He puts his hands on Kidou's fists. "What were you still doing there, Kidou? What did you see?" He gives him a light squeeze. Kidou has to swallow a few times before he's ready to answer, both his throat and lips feel dry. Sakuma gives him the glass of water and he eagerly takes a sip. The cold liquid feels good.

Sakuma puts the glass back on the night stand once Kidou is done and gives him a soft smile. "He...he's back." Is his hoarse reply. He knows that Sakuma will understand him, he doesn't need any further explanation and he's quite sure that his friend can read the fear in his eyes but his reaction isn't really what he expected.

He's searching for shock, disbelieve, even a judging look from him because he probably worked too much but none of that is the case. Sakuma just nods instead. "I know."

Instead of Sakuma it's Kidou who stares at him in shock, not knowing what to say to him. "Y-you what?"

"I know that he's back."

"For how long?" He snaps back.

Sakuma frowns a little, Kidou's attitude had a quick change and it's clear that he finds it difficult to tell his boss. "Gouenji informed me a couple of weeks ago. He got a call from the hospital."

"You're saying that Gouenji knew about this too?"

"Kidou you have to understand our decision not to tell you!"

"Who else knows?" Kidou sounds irritated now, how could they hide something like that from him?

"Fudou and Genda—"

"And the whole Teikoku team and Raimon, everyone except me?"

"No- just them." He says softly.

Kidou pauses for a moment, ducking his head down. He probably hurt Sakuma by reacting so fierce, his friend only tries to do his best, takes care of him and Kidou treats him like that. "Does Endou know?"

"No, no he doens't."

Kidou nods, he doesn't seem to be happy about it though.

"Kidou we are worried about you, Fudou is too."

The mention of their friend makes Kidou's expression soften for a brief moment. "You don't have to be, I'm fine."

Sakuma lets out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, Kidou."

"No, if you'd be sorry you wouldn't be doing this behind my back!" Kidou falls back in his irritation. "I thought we were friends."

"Now you're being childish! We are friends Kidou! What should we have said?"

"Anything!"

"We didn't want to worry you. We were just waiting for the right time."

"The right time, so you prefer finding me on the floor of my own school rather than telling me right away? What if a student would have found me instead of you? Or another teacher, they could have fired me Sakuma!"

"Yes but that didn't happen, we had no idea that he would show up at Teikoku! Plus this wouldn't have happened if _you_ were not working till late again, I thought you said that you were going home?" Sakuma shoots back, getting close to also losing his tempter now Kidou bursts it all out on him like that.

"You have no idea how it was for me, Jirou."

Sakuma is quiet now, quite taken aback when he hears Kidou using his first name. Even though they have been friends for thirteen years Kidou rarely calls him by his first name, and no-one calls him Yuuto, not even his sister.

Somehow everyone refrains from calling the genius game maker by his first name, everyone except Fudou who just does as he pleases, blasting out Kidou's name like it's nothing. _Why..it shouldn't be a problem, right?_ In his playful, teasing ways. "_Yuuto~"  
_  
And Kidou lets him, Kidou doesn't seem to be bothered by it. Actually nothing Fudou does seems to do, behaviour that usually annoys them both only pisses Sakuma off when it's about Fudou.

Fudou jokes around and doesn't take a thing seriously. Sakuma can't understand why Kidou is still friends with him. Of course they understand each other on the field like no-one else does. Those two combined are the perfect combination any team would want. Everything matches. Bu that's just on the field, they don't have similarities outside of it.

They are so different. Fudou is lightheaded while Kidou is strict, Fudou curses when he wants while Kidou speaks with thought. Fudou misbehaves and Kidou is a real gentleman who would never do or say something that would offend the person he is speaking with. While Fudou is just...Fudou. _Maybe that's what makes them so good together.._

_"Do I hear jealousy there, Sakuma-kun?"_

Sakuma pushes that thought away. Yes, he admires his best friend, former captain and boss. He feels deep respect for him. Kidou is smart, has quite a sense of humour when he loosens up (though he needs quite a bit alcohol for that to actually happen) and he cannot deny that Kidou is really good looking.

He has a build more muscles than you might think there are beneath that cape and suit, and his eyes are truly beautiful. The moment he shows his crimson eyes are rare but also very special. Considering that he also only takes them off for special occasions or when he feels like it when they are alone.

He seems to wear them less often when Fudou is around, Fudou is changing him.  
But it might also be because he complains that they look stupid and he tries to steal them whenever he finds the chance to do so.

Fudou seeks a lot of attention from Kidou, that's true, although Kidou doesn't really notice that. But Sakuma is not jealous. Fudou teases him with often enough, saying he has a crush on his ex captain.

That's not true, it's well known that Sakuma is a homosexual. He came out for it in the second year of high school (but many of them already guessed- except for Kidou who is damn oblivious when it comes to things like this).

He sees Kidou as his best friend and he enjoys being his right hand but he is not in love with him.

Kidou has never been in love so far he knows, or he's very good at hiding his feelings. He never showed interested in anyone, he assumes the only things he thinks about are soccer, new tactics and paperwork. But then, Sakuma never really understood him, not in the way he knows Fudou does.

He and Genda once made a bet, that Kidou and Fudou will end up together but Sakuma can simply not imagine it. Kidou and Fudou in a relationship, they'd be fighting about every single thing. It's also hard to imagine Fudou, the biggest flirt of them all, committing to a serious relationship with a male.

And Kidou, well, he can only assume things about him. Just like he can only assume how it must have felt for him when he saw Kageyama.

He can only assume how it must feel for Kidou, to see the man who had him in control for years. He had control over Kidou for years though Kidou did not take his death lightly.  
He still goes to visit his grave at least two times a year. That man meant so much to him, he looked at him with the same respect as Sakuma looks at him, the genius leader.

"What exactly happened, Kidou?"

Kidou looks like he's still in shock. "He called for me, my name, he said that I should come back to him, that I am still his creation.."

"Kidou that is—"

"True." He finished before his friend can. "It's true. Look at me, in his old position."

"But you are not like him, Kidou!"

"Am I not?" Sakuma is surprised to hear how much Kidou doubts himself. "Can you tell me that you are a hundred percent certain that I am not like _that man_?" Sakuma's silence says enough to him.

"I'm going to shower." Kidou gets up and Sakuma watches him leave, speechless.

He couldn't lie to Kidou, it is true. Sometimes he reminds him of their old Commander. But that doesn't have to be a bad thing, Kageyama also had his good side and did good things in his life. Kidou would never be like that man in his dark years, that is just impossible.

The Kidou he knows has a good heart. But Kidou has changed over the years, soccer was always important to him but ever since he started coaching Teikoku he became more focussed on that, he even denied the offer to play in Spain with Fudou.

What is keeping him here?

* * *

**Sorry I said it would be up sooner and I meant sooner than this! I have a lot of school work so please be patient with me uvu**

Leave a comment if you want to share your thoughts!

Angel


	3. Chapter 3

Kidou closes the door of his mansion with a sigh. He just let Sakuma and Gouenji in. He told Sakuma that he's fine so many times already but he just doesn't want to let it go. At this very moment they are in his sitting room, waiting for him.

Sakuma really doesn't know when to stop and somehow he dragged Gouenji into this too. They insist that he should talk about it, but Kidou doesn't want to speaks about it. He doesn't want to hear their endless apologies nor know the reason _he_ is back, at least..not with them.

He finally contacted Fudou yesterday, fortunately he understood his problem of not knowing what to say through simple messages so they agreed to have a video call.

It was good to see him, Fudou looked good. His usual pale skin was darker because of the amount of time he spends in the sun there but the rest looks pretty much the same. From his cheeky grin and stormy green eyes. When Kidou heard the other male's voice he couldn't suppress a smile, it was almost like he was there with him.

"You look good" He said after a silence that only lasted a bit longer because Fudou had to wait till his roommate left the room they shared for now.

"You look miserable." Was his reply followed by a wide grin.

They talked about soccer and some other things, like they always do. Kidou was enjoying this, talking freely with his old friend but he knew they had to stop pretending at some point, he just wished that it didn't have to be that soon.

* * *

"So how you're doing, really doing?"

Kidou rubs with his finger between his eyebrows before he answers, whenever someone tries to bring this subject up he feels a heavy headache coming up. "I'm not sure, still quite in shock, I suppose." Fudou laughs softly. "Yeah, I was too, believe me."

"When did you know?" Kidou hopes that it sounded less hurt than he felt when he said it.

"Sakuma called me." Fudou frowns when he sees the sour look on Kidou's face. "I'm sorry, we both agreed not to tell you yet, we'd wait till I would be back." Another grin appears on his face right after that. "Wanted to tell you myself, damn I wish I could have seen the look on your face."

"Fudou.." Kidou sighs but he can't help the smile curling on his lips, finally someone who doesn't pity him, not like he expected any less from someone as Fudou Akio. He would only despise him if he'd treat himself like a victim.

"Heard your lackey found you passed out on the floor? Damn, must have been a shock for him. Lucky him he could only see the scene with one eye."

"_Fudou!_" He says again but Fudou just snickers when he sees the look on his friend's face, he obviously can't hold his laughter back either. Kidou knows he shouldn't be laughing at this, Sakuma really does try his best.

"I wonder if I would have told you in person you would have passed out as well. Can you imagine it?" He whistles and makes a movement with his finger, like something is falling, Kidou's body.

"Bam, with your face flat on the floor."

Kidou leans back on his chair and folds his arms. "But you'd catch me, right?"

"Like a prince."

"But you're the most ugliest and impolite prince I've ever seen, then."

Fudou laughs at Kidou's reaction, it doesn't happen too often Kidou is like this. "Good, you're learning."

"I have the best teacher." He grins back at his former teammate.

"Flattering me won't help you get off the subject, y'know."

Kidou sighs when Fudou sees right through his little act and leans forward again. He places his elbows on his desk and rests his head on his folded hands. "I don't have much to say about it, to be honest. He's back and well, that's it."

Fudou nods slowly while Kidou is talking. "Remember what I said ten years ago. You don't belong to him."

"How could I ever forget your little speech." He gives him a faint smile. "It was the first time you actually said something more than two words to me _and_ it made sense for once."

Fudou scolds. "I'd totally punch you for that right now."

"If you want that to happen then come back."

"I'll save them up for when I return."

"You better do." Kidou is quiet for a while and Fudou sees on his expression that it's not the time to joke around anymore. They have some serious stuff to discuss, either if Kidou likes it or not, they can't keep avoiding this subject.

Kidou hasn't shared his feelings with Sakuma yet. Somehow he feels like he has to be the strong commander Sakuma expects him to be, and it might be strange but he feels like he can open up much more to his old rival than to his best friend.

"I'm scared." He says in a whisper, but loud enough for Fudou to hear. "What if I can't resist."

"Oi, listen to me Yuuto. You're stronger than ten years ago. You're an adult now."

Kidou smiles relieved, he's glad the brunette doesn't make fun of him but gives him some reassuring words instead. He really needs this right now.

"You had to hear him, Fudou. Commanding me to come back like I have no other choice. It was like the FFI all over again. That feelings like he can control me, that he created the person I am today."

"Yuuto.."

Kidou feels the same pain and anger coming up again as when he spoke to Sakuma about this matter. "No, I even returned to Teikoku, I am not any diff—"

"YUUTO!"

Fudou yells through the microphone, the sound is hard and unpleasant but it does work, Kidou stops talking.

"I understand that you're terrified, that man had a huge impact on your life but he can't control you. You are certainly not like him."

Kidou shakes his head. "But I—"

"Remember that I said that you shouldn't pity yourself? Well that is _exactly_ what you're doing. You have to show him that you are stronger than him, you are not a kid anymore, Yuuto. You have your own life you lead with passion for soccer and Teikoku. You belong there and with soccer. That's who you are, the real you has nothing to do with Kageyama."

Kidou just nods, he doesn't know what to say. It's doesn't happen often that Fudou speaks up like this. He does raise his voice but that's usually to yell at kids who are in his way.

"There is a big difference between you two. You don't hate and you never will. I learned from my mistakes but you never did something wrong, you were simply by his side and damn you stood up for yourself, your team _and_ Raimon back then. We will pull each other through, you're not alone in this Yuuto, we're all with you."

"Thank you, Fudou."

"Heh,"

"When are you coming back again?"

"Another five months, I'd say, it could be longer, depends on how badly they need me here."

"I see."

"You're uhm," Fudou coughs and averts his eyes from the screen. "missed here. The players are good but it's not the same y'know."

"Thank you, I—"

Kidou gets interrupted by Fudou's phone which starts ringing. "Ah, listen Yuuto, I gotta go." He says over the noise of his ringtone. "It was good to talk with you again." He winks and ends the call before Kidou can say goodbye.

Kidou stares at the screen of a couple of minutes. Fudou is offline. Despite that the abrupt ending of the call feels a little odd to Kidou, he's smiling, the call with his friend really did him good and gave him some new hope. His friends are right, he's not like _that_ _man_ and he is certainly not alone.

* * *

Kidou puts three glasses with red wine on the table and lets himself sink back in his own chair, preparing for another long afternoon. He looks up at Gouenji and Sakuma who are sitting next to each other on the couch in front of him.

"Well?" He asks while he takes a sip. For a brief moment he wonders if it would be easier to listen to them if he wouldn't be completely sober anymore. Not drunk, just a little tipsy so their words would reach him and he would understand, but it wouldn't annoy him as much as it does now.

"We're worried about you."

"Yes you said that," Kidou sighs a little annoyed and looks away from them, it's starting already. "about three times only today."

"You passed out when you saw him, Kidou, you should take this more serious! We thought that maybe you should see a therapist, just for a while. You don't talk about your feelings with us so maybe..."

Kidou stopped listening somewhere around that point. He wishes he would have put his goggles on before he followed them to the room so he could actually have closed his eyes. He is not sure if it is because of Sakuma's endless talking or the whole situation but suddenly he feels so exhausted.

His thoughts stray off to his conversation with Fudou. How much more pleasant and comfortable he felt with him. His second hand only seems to annoy him these days, if Kidou is completely honest, he almost doesn't recognise himself. Maybe this all has more influence on him than he thought..

He isn't sure for how long Sakuma has been talking already, he didn't even hear a word of what he all said, , that is until he mentions his sister.

"... and Haruna agrees with us, we think that—"

"You spoke with Haruna about this too?" Kidou sits up and places his glass on the table, a bit harder than he actually intended to do but he can't control his frustration at this point. "Sakuma you are really crossing the line now!"

"She has the right to know about this, she's worried too!"

Kidou gets up from his chair. "I don't want to hear the word 'worried' coming from your mouth again! I get it but honestly I am _fine_!"

When Sakuma looks up at his best friend he sees the old Kidou again, before he joined Raimon. He was in charge and things would go his way, always. Kidou became a lot calmer over the years but now he really seems to lose that.

"It must have been a shock for you, that's all what we're trying to say."

Kidou glances at the other man on the couch who has been quiet for the whole time but was a bit startled as well because of Kidou's sudden outburst.

"It was a shock for all of us, Gouenji." He says calmly.

"But you know what I mean."

"I don't see how it's any different from me, we all have our past with him."

"We know how much you care about him, Kidou." Sakuma falls in again. "After your father died you haven't been yourself, you lost three father figures, maybe it's good that one is back in your life."

Kidou lets himself fall back in his chair with a sigh. "If I listen will you leave me alone, then?"

Sakuma smiles somewhat happily and gives an enthusiastic nod. He is glad Kidou finally wants to listen, it would be better for him if he would accept their help. He can't deal with all of this alone after all. "Thank you, we will say what we have to say and I promise we will leave after that."


	4. Chapter 4

It still took around the two hours before his friends finally left and Kidou is feeling restless after listening to his friend rambling for so long. It's not fair towards Sakuma that Kidou feels this way about him at this moment, after everything he has done for him but Kidou can't help himself. He's used to dealing with things alone.

When he shuts the door he heads straight to his office with the idea to continue with the unfinished work that he has but halfway he changes his mind.

Third floor, left, the last door on the left side.

It's locked, of course, he always locks it.

He can feel his heart beating in his throat as he puts the key in the lock and the rushed, unpleasant feeling only disappears the moment Kidou pulls a box from underneath the huge closet. Kidou takes a deep breath and looks at the box in his hands before he finally opens it.

When he does he takes a few seconds to look at the treasure. It has been in the box for ten years now and he never took it out before, it's been carefully locked away with all the uniforms and memories from ten years ago.

He hesitates first before he takes the treasure in his hand. Black, crushed sunglasses.

Kidou makes a fist of his hand. The feeling of the broken glass is leaving little marks in the palm of his hand brings him back to that moment when coach Kudou took Fudou, Sakuma and him apart. Kidou doesn't remember that much after their coach told him the news, just that he had to hold his hand up.

The only thing they could save from the disaster that occurred earlier that day. Kageyama Reiji's sunglasses. His body was damaged in such a bad way that he was not allowed to see him. Their coach told him that he was instantly dead and he probably didn't feel any pain. But that didn't make his pain any less.

"Kageyama- Sousei," he whispers. When he closes his eyes he feels the strong urge to cry, to let it all out, then maybe..maybe his heart wouldn't feel so heavy anymore, maybe the pain in not only his heart but his whole body would be less, maybe it would clear the fog in his head. But he can't, he cannot cry.

After his parents died he never cried again, he had to be there for his sister, he had to behave in front of his father and he never let himself cry whenever he was alone. He just couldn't anymore after all those years of holding back.

Crying wouldn't help him in any way, crying wouldn't get his parents back, crying would not have given him his sister back in his life and crying wouldn't give him his commander back either.

After he heard the news he had locked himself in his room for hours, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling. Thoughtless, emotionless. He couldn't believe his commander was actually dead. He enjoyed having his freedom, even though it was just for a while, the feeling of not being a puppet anymore, like Fudou had put it. He could enjoy his soccer again and not feel guilty for it, Kageyama was a good man.

He did some horrible things but he could never wish him dead, he would always respect the man who taught him everything he knows about soccer. It is not fair that a man who had just decided to live his life in a better way has to die under such tragic circumstances. The detective said that the driver made a horrible mistake and was devastated, but they are all aware of it that Kageyama's death wasn't an accident.

He remembers the voices outside his room from that day, when he focuses enough he can still hear Sakuma and Fudou arguing.

* * *

"Kidou?" Sakuma knocks on his door. "Can I come in?"

"Just leave him alone, Sakuma-kun, isn't it obvious that he doesn't want company now? Not even yours."

Kidou could hear his teammate snort and he could almost feel him smirk after that. "Your company is never appreciated in the first place."

Kidou figured when he heard a soft noise that Sakuma must have hit Fudou, his shoulder most likely, but the forward doesn't respond to that.

"Kidou? Just tell me if you need anything, I'll get it for you."

"What Kidou needs, Sakuma, is that you get the fuck away from his door and let him grief in silence and peace, the way _he_ wants it. Geez, he is already going through a hard time right now, he wouldn't want your reassuring words or your tight embraces. He needs space. You can't always be there to hold his hand like a pathetic babysitter, he needs to stand on his own feet."

Fudou pauses and Kidou holds his breath, not wanting to miss a word of what is happening outside his room.

"But I think we both know that's not the real problem here. It's not like Kidou needs anyone right now, _you_ need him."

"That's not true!" Sakuma shoots back in defence.

"Just admit it, Sakuma-kun, it's not like Kidou needs any of your shit, you want to hold him and then you want to brag about how much you mean to Kidou, well guess what, he doesn't fucking need it. Screw off already."

It's quiet in the hallway now. What Fudou just said about his best friend is extremely rude but somehow Kidou appreciates his words, he doesn't want anyone around him right now, not even Sakuma. It's like Fudou understands.

Then, he probably does understand. Fudou never shares his feelings and prefers to be alone. Sakuma doesn't know Fudou's situation but Fudou does know his. He must know pretty well how Kidou feels.

Sakuma seems to understand it too now. "Fine, I'll go if you go too."

"That's fine with me." Fudou says. "See you around, Kidou-kun."

Kidou can hear his footsteps and imagines him walking away, hands in his pockets, not giving a shit about what the world thinks of him.

Maybe Kidou is a little jealous of that, just a little. He always has to think about his family reputation, he can't afford doing anything too reckless. After all, he isn't born with this name, it's given to him and he should not betray his father after everything he has given to him.

He wonders how he does that, both of them actually. They both worked with Kageyama but they don't seem to be that upset about it as he is. Why not..why does it hurt him so much..

Kidou closes his eyes, the only sound he hears comes from the rain against his window.

The weather changed about an hour ago after they heard the news, he thought those things only happened in movies. The weather changes drastically when something tragical happens.

He assumes that the further silence on the other side of the door means that Sakuma left as well, he kept his word, which is rare for him when it's about Fudou.

There's always this tension between the two of them, they don't get along at all. Kidou hopes they will some day, they are his closest friends and they both mean a lot to him. Even Fudou, the person he has a difficult past with, means a lot to him.

While thinking of his two friends and listening to the rain he slowly falls into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

Kidou had always wished that he could see his commander one last time. That he could see him and that he would be proud of him. When Raimon travelled through time he thought about it. Using the sunglasses as his artefact to travel back in time, to see him, just to see him, sitting behind his desk in his office.

He could have, he could have asked that blue bear which Gouenji seemed to like so much for unclear reasons, and just go. But when he reached this door to get the artefact he stopped himself. He couldn't possibly take the risk, what if Kageyama would see him? He can't play with the past. Going back is not an option.

Kageyama is dead and he has to face that. Until last week that were his thoughts about this. But now the thought of Kageyama being dead is history, his commander is alive and deep inside it frightens him.

Kidou puts the sunglasses back in the box, where they belong. He can't keep hiding from him as he did when he was a kid, he has to face him, like the man he is today, how difficult that might be.

* * *

**Two chapters today!**

**Leave a comment if you want to share your thoughts about it!**

**Also a little note: I did write that Kidou never cried but we all know he did when Endou graduated (with his goggles around his neck and hiding his eyes with his arm- so cute!) but for the sake of the story I let that out! Forgive me.**

**Angel**


	5. Chapter 5

Kidou had stayed at the office too late again. He just couldn't get himself to focus on his work, he's behind on almost everything at this point. Sakuma offered him to help multiple times but he turned him down every time. He has a lot on his mind right now and he prefers to be left alone.

He said to himself that he would face his old commander but he didn't find the time for it yet, or the courage. Fudou's words did reassure him, for a moment, but he started to doubt himself again. Maybe he is not in the right condition at this moment to have a confrontation with him this soon again.

When Kidou finally leaves his office it's dark and the streets are quiet as he walks the long road to his mansion. Of course, Kidou could easily have had his chauffeur come and pick him up, or even drive himself to work daily for that matter, but he liked the gentle stroll he took in the fresh air on an evening, it helped to clear his head after a hard day at Teikoku.

As he nears the building he notices a tall, shadowy figure waiting at the door. Kidou shoves his hands deeper in the pockets of his coat, averting his gaze down to the pavement. Could it be? It had been weeks since he last saw him and had it not been for Sakuma admitting that Kageyama was really alive, he would have thrown the memory away as an hallucination caused by stress and overwork. But there he was, larger than life, waiting for him to reach the door.

Kidou feels a sudden anger boiling up, what is he thinking to show up at his door at a time like this? What is he now, a stalker? Does he need Kidou back that badly for yet another one of his ridiculous plans? If that's so, Kidou doesn't want to be involved, he doesn't want to get involved with him at all.

But then, he is standing there, waiting for him and Kidou can't just ignore the man like he has never seen him before. Maybe he should consider giving him one chance at least.

"What are you doing here?" He asks when he's just a couple of steps away from him and he's sure that Kageyama would hear him.

"Kidou," He says in his usual way, like how he had always called his name and it makes him shiver all over his body. "we need to talk."

"I have nothing to speak with you about, please leave my property immediately. Goodnight."

Kidou makes his way to get past the man and enter his home but Kageyama grabs him by the arm and stops him short. "But I have plenty to say to you."

Seeing the shock on Kidou's face Kageyama immediately releases his grip and gives him a quiet "Sorry".

"Am I not clear enough for you?" He says and rubs over his arm like he wants to clean his coat from Kageyama's touch. "I said goodnight and please leave before I call the police, I assume they'll be glad to have you."

"Please Kidou, give me just one hour of your time."

Kidou shoots a quick glance at the taller man and nods. "Fine, but I am only agreeing because you and my father were once good friends. I am not doing it as a favour to you."

"I understand, thank you very much".

Kidou guides Kageyama to the sitting room of the great house before moving to the kitchen to make them both tea. Right now he wanted nothing more than a large glass of fine, red wine to eliminate the tension racing through his body but he needs to keep a clear head while he listening to what his former commander has to say. The time for alcohol would come once he will be alone again. An hour, he should at least be able to make it.

Returning to the sitting room he places the tray carrying the tea on the table before pouring Kageyama and himself a cup.

"I thought you would employ staff to carry out such menial jobs, Kidou."

"I do have staff, but I allow them to leave at seven. I am perfectly capable of looking after myself."

"Of that I am doubtful." He says and takes the cup of tea in his hands. "You are very thin, you hardly eat and you spend most of your day sitting in a darkened room working away at your computer. You are not living Kidou, just merely existing."

"Did you come here just to insult me or tell me how to live my life? If that is the case then please take your leave, I do not need another person worrying about me. I have actual friends and family for that matter."

"My apologies. I worry about you Kidou, you are my greatest creation after all, you have to forgive my feeling of wanting to look after you."

"_DON'T_ say that!" Kidou clenches his fists, trying not to burst out to the man he once respected. He only allows himself to continue when he's calm enough again and is able to relax the muscles in his hand. "I am not your creation. You did not make me. Yes, you may have tried to mould me into your little minion but I can assure you, you did not succeed."

"My apologies again, Kidou. I did not come here to offend you. When I say creation I hold it in the same esteem a father would when talking about his child."

"You are _not_ my father either. My parents passed away and so did your old friend."

"I am sorry for your lost Kidou, my condolences for your father. But to me you are the child I never had, Kidou. You were, and are, my idea of perfection."

"Shut up! I am not perfect! Your ideas don't have influence on me anymore! I don't... I don't..."

With that Kidou's tears threaten to fall, he can feel them burning behind his eyes but he can't let himself cry now, not here, not in the company of him. But hadn't he always viewed Kageyama as a father figure? Isn't this what he wanted to hear, deep inside? Isn't that why his words affect him so much? And didn't it take him a long time to move on from the death of this man? A man he despised, who brought misery on everything he was involved in. A man who tried to kill people for his own gain...

...a man...

... a man who took him out of the orphanage when he and Haruna suddenly found themselves alone in the world. A man who introduced him to his adopted father and recommend he'd be the one to carry on the prestigious Kidou name. A man who nurtured his growing interest in soccer and taught him skills that would turn him into a world class player. A man who praised him and made him feel special...

...a man whom, if Kidou was honest with himself, turned him into the person he was today.

Kidou takes his glasses off to rub in his tired eyes with his hand. He could feel a headache forming and would need painkillers soon but that was only once he heard what Kageyama had to say.

Kageyama had been quiet while Kidou was over thinking the time they spent together in the past, knowing Kidou needed his time to think and clear his head. When Kidou looks up he sees a familiar look in Kageyama's eyes, the same look he had when Kidou took his goggles off somewhere in public for the first time in years.

"If you didn't die back then, why didn't you tell anyone? Where have you been?"

"I saw the error of my ways. We made our peace ten years ago at the FFI and at that very minute I knew I had to step away and leave you alone. You needed to be free from my shadow so you could grow and mature into the adult you were meant to be. Not someone who was forever checking over his shoulder to see if I was watching."

"And were you watching me?"

"Yes. I followed your progress through high school and then your journey into the world of professional soccer, playing initially for the best Japanese teams before furthering your career in Europe. I was as proud of you as any father would be. But once you gave it all up and returned to Teikoku I knew I had to take my chance and come and see you."

"And when you took that chance you also thought that it would be the perfect time to mess with my feelings again. To remind me that my whole life has been nothing more than a path that you actually chose for me. Tell me, honestly, have I ever been free?"

"Kidou, I apologise for what happened a few weeks ago, even an old man like me can get carried away by nostalgic feelings. Walking through those halls again made me feel like the man I was ten years ago. But I can assure you that you were free, you thought I was dead and therefore I had no further influence on your life anymore. This person you have become is not because of me, but because of you."

"You cannot expect me to trust you after everything you have done! How can I ever be sure you did nothing but follow me all those years! That you didn't manipulate my teachers to let me pass with my high grades! The accident our English teacher had almost right before an important exam, was that your doing, wasn't I ready enough and did I need those two extra days to study? Did you disqualify or hurt other players so I could play abroad?"

"Have you ever wanted me to manipulate your teachers and purposely hurt other people for your sake? Yes, I did get rid of the people who were blocking my plans in the most horrible ways but what would that give you? You did all of this with your own knowledge and strength. You were a perfect student because you're smart, and you were able to join the league in Italy because you have a lot of talent as a soccer player. I don't ask you do believe me on my word but I have nothing to do with the way you turned out to be, Kidou."

"That is how you see it, that is how everyone sees it and they keep telling me that the only person who can decide my life for me is me but that has never been the case! Even though you weren't there I still looked over my shoulder to see what you would think. Every decision I made I thought about what you would think of me! I wanted to be the perfect creation you wanted me to be! I studied hard every day so your death wasn't completely meaningless, I played soccer at my very best with everything you taught me in my head! I wanted to make you proud! I wouldn't have been the person I am today if it wasn't for you! That I am still wearing goggles, my trademark! I returned to Teikoku because I felt like it is my duty to continue what you once started!"

"Kidou.." Kidou has never been able to read his former commander's face before, it has always been strict and without any emotion. But now, even though he is wearing sunglasses Kidou can actually see the shock on his face. Speechless because of his old student's words. "I never realised how you felt, I thought that this would be the best way for you to continue with your life. I would have gone to prison for a long time, it would be better for you to remember me as the person I was the last time that you saw me. You can't look up at someone who has to spend the rest of his life in prison."

"Everything would have been better than your death, a fake death! I needed a person like you in my life! Someone who would guard and guide me! Someone I could rely on and point me the way when I was lost! I might have turned out fine like this and I chose the right path but that doesn't mean that I didn't need you! With all the respect that I have for my father and how much I have loved him but he was never the man I needed, I needed you! If you look at me as your own child then how could you have missed the feeling of me needing a father figure in my life! Why weren't you there for me five years ago when he passed away? Why now of all the times! Wasn't I old enough to understand that you would return? Because I still don't understand, I don't think I would ever be ready to have you back in my life! But I am…that you're here after…because I missed..I –" Kidou chokes on his words and covers his mouth with his hand, looking away in embarrassment from the man in front of him with tears forming in the corners over his eyes.

Kageyama raises from his seat just like Kidou did somewhere in the middle of his speech and reaches his hand out to touch him. But before he can do so Kidou takes a step back, still not looking at his former commander. "I gave you an hour and I believe that your time is up, if you could please leave, I have more important things to do." Kidou's voice sounds weaker than he has ever heard him, Kidou is not someone to show his emotion to others and it seems like it isn't his intention either to open op in front of Kageyama either.

"If you have unanswered questions, if you ever feel the urge to continue this conversation or if you just need me, I will leave my card with my phone number and current address on the table."

"Do as you wish but I doubt a situation like that would ever occur. I assume you can find your way out without any further assistance. If you would excuse me now." Kidou holds the tray with the now cold tea and he brings it to the kitchen without giving Kageyama another glance.

Kidou returns to the sitting room with a glass of red wine in his hand, Kageyama did indeed take his leave and somehow he trusts him on it that he left his house and is not hiding in an empty and unused room somewhere in his huge mansion.

On the table there's a card. Even though he is not thinking about contacting him again anytime soon he picks it up out of a strong feeling of curiosity, where would this man live now? He doesn't recognise the address on the card, he's not even sure if that place exists. While taking a sip of his wine he turns the card around and almost chokes again, this time on his wine.

"I will become the God of soccer" is written on the back of it in unclear handwriting. But he recognises it right away, he has read Kageyama's notes so many times, just like Endou read the notes of his own grandfather. This is his handwriting without a doubt.

He should have seen this coming, Kageyama still can't be trusted, a man like him will never change. He has another plan up his sleeve and he knows Kidou will have to contact him again.

With a loud and mostly angry groan he throws his half empty glass of wine against the wall. The glass breaks as soon as it hits it leaves a nasty trail of red wine over his white wall to the floor.

Kidou himself couldn't care less about the broken glass and the stain of red wine on the wall. He turns on his heel and makes his way back to the kitchen for a new glass of wine, or rather, a whole bottle. He'll need it to get through the night without getting insane of his thoughts about Kageyama.

He leaves the sitting room for what it is, his employees will take care of that tomorrow morning. He has more important business to do now, it seems he's not done working yet.

He will never escape from his curse with that man.

* * *

**So, that took quite some time to upload, I already had it finished but I don't want to rush things in case I want to add something. It would be a shame if I'd think of something really really great and I already uploaded it here.**

**In case you think "Look at that, Angel's vocabulary changed quickly!" then I have to disappoint you, a huge part is written by an amazing young lady from England who is way better in English than I am. I wish all those words would be mine.**

**I want to thank _Ishidoshuuji_ so much for helping me with this chapter. She actually wrote most of this down for me, the ideas come from our endless chats and headcanons about Kidou. I am really proud of her for writing something so great it has given me a lot of inspiration, please spam her that she has to write at least _one_ fanfiction because we'd all love it (on the other hand never mind that, more competition).**  
**No but, I really suggest you check her Tumblr, she's an amazing artist!**

**I hope you like the things I added to it and the way I let the chapter end.**

**I want to thank _Serein_ for end because she pointed the line about Kageyama wanting to become the god of soccer out for me. (I haven't watched Galaxy myself- just episode one with Kidou, the one with Fudou and when Fake!Tsurugi pointed a gun at Tenma.) We also talk about Kidou a lot and they both have great ideas. I want to thank them for supporting me this much and always leaving such sweet and motivating comments!**

**I can't put everyone in the spotlight but also my other followers and people who leave comments you're great, bless you and I'll try to not let you down!**

**Angel**


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